Adolescence - the big 'A'

Where is the defining boundary line when we stop acting like children? Is it, as popularly stereotyped, the moment we turn thirteen? One moment, we are still in a world of fantasy and make believe; the next, we get involved in the intricacies of life – careers, relationships, stress, even substance abuse. All the while, there is the constant feeling of being misunderstood all the time, the paranoia that everyone is out to deride us, the anxiety of having to live up to countless different expectations from countless different sources. Being an adolescent, especially in present times, is a challenge – this fact has become a cliché, perhaps an exaggeration, courtesy all the unrealistic sitcoms and movies that make a mockery out of the essence of adolescence (Mean Girls? 10 Things I Hate About You? Never Been Kissed? - need I elaborate?).

This, for want of a better word, problem, is relatively new to India. In a land where, until recently, the word of the Family Elder used to be law, where people rarely intermingled with members of the opposite sex before marriage, where partying meant formal dinners or festivals, it is no wonder that issues like drugs, premarital sex, underage drinking are still incomprehensible to most, especially those of the previous generation. No matter what distortions are made by popular TV channels broadcasting pseudo-modernity, the fact remains that a majority of us middle-class adolescents find it difficult to openly share all that we go through; there is a sense of taboo, of unwarranted guilt, of a need for someone we can unburden ourselves on.

          The first and foremost problem that every Indian adolescent faces is, (as we all know, as we have all been told through cinematic gems like Taare Zameen Par, but still choose to conveniently ignore) the pressure to excel academically. This manages to choke our thinking faculties in those very years when they are supposed to blossom. Creativity – in music, in sport, in drama, in any field – takes a huge backseat as we get suctioned into a rat race. Agreed, we churn out results, and exceptional ones at that, drawing praise from the likes of Barack Obama. But at what price? We sacrifice potential soccer superstars, unique photographers, extraordinary actors, perhaps even Nobel Prize winners, and in place we substitute them with mediocre, disinterested professionals. No wonder then, that the frustration levels are so high.

          Again, peer pressure has maybe never been as brutal as it is now. Superficialities of dressing, of speaking, of walking, of talking, of acting, of pretenses, of false friendships: these are no longer confined to the pages of teen magazines, but exist very much in real life. Attractiveness sells, and in this bid to be attractive – in the eyes of peers, at that - we tend to lose out on a lot of things that actually matter in life. And some of us, in increasing numbers, sadly take to alcohol, drugs and smoking. (“It’s cool!”; “It’s only one sip!”; “I need it to socialize.”; “It’s the way things are now!”)

          Being an adolescent myself, I cannot dole out sanctimonious advice as to what should and should not be done. What I can do is send out an honest appeal. What we need is our own space, our own time to think our own thoughts. We need love, we need guidance, we need to be taught to take our own decisions, to handle our problems. We need to know where to draw the line between enjoying life and hedonism. But ultimately, all we really do need is someone who will listen to us without passing judgment, without accusation; with empathy toward our life and problems.

          These are the best years of our life, when we discover who we really are, and form bonds of friendship and affection that last all our lives. We deserve to live these years to the fullest, getti ng the most out of them. After all, we are the future of this country, and the way we are will ultimately reflect what the country will grow to be. So, let us go ahead to seize the day – Carpe Diem!